Soon Enough It Comes
by m47e47l
Summary: AU, Post Resurrection. Lauren did not die at the hand of Vaughn and while she lies in a coma something is revealed that brings the walls of his life crashing down. COMPLETE.
1. The Worst Is Yet To Come

**Summary: **AU, post Resurrection. Lauren did not die at the hand of Vaughn, and while she lies in a coma something is revealed that brings the walls of his life crashing down.

**A/N: **I have excercised great creative freedom with this story. Firstly, Lauren did not reveal anything to Sydney (ie. the saftey deposit box etc), so the whole Jack killing Irina storyline is not part of this fic. This is an alternative universe, so APO does not exist. In regards to Sloane and Nadia, they returned from their search, where he started as a consultant for the CIA again. And as I really wanted Nadia to be a part of this fic, she joined the CIA. These points are not really all that important to the fic, but I just wanted to clear them up so there was no confusion. I hope that you all enjoy this, because it was certainly interesting to write :)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Alias. I do not own the song 'These Days' by Powderfinger, which is featured in this chapter, and from where the title comes from.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter One:  
The Worst Is Yet To Come**

_**Its coming round again, the slowly creeping hand  
Of time and its command, soon enough it comes  
And settles in its place, its shadow in my face  
Soon enough it comes, and settles in its place  
This life well its slipping right through my hands

* * *

**_

Vaughn's eyes flew open, the loud crying screams ringing in his ears. It was the same sound that had been haunting him night after night for the past months. The sound that he wanted desperately to escape.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, all he could do was stare at the blank wall before him. Everything about this place was blank and that was the way that Vaughn wanted it. No physical reminders in his home of his old house and of…her.

Vaughn stomach still churned at the thought of Lauren. At the fact that he had been so blind, gullible, foolish, easily manipulated- he had been through every adjective in the book and not one of them effectively summed up just how low he was feeling.

When he had first discovered the truth about Lauren and her allegiances, the only thing that had kept him going was the thought that one day he would have purged his life of Lauren forever.

It only it had been that easy. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to put his Lauren ghosts behind him now.

Groaning, Vaughn dragged himself out of bed. Sleep was out of the question. He couldn't risk another dream full of the sounds of…dreams that had been disturbing him every night. He was finding it a great struggle to adapt to the few hours of sleep he was getting each night. Throwing on a t-shirt, he padded barefoot into the kitchen and switched on his coffeemaker. The thought of a stiff drink did cross his mind, but there was not a chance in hell that he was going to regress back to the person he was when Sydney had 'died.'

He was not going to give Lauren the satisfaction.

* * *

**_These days turned out nothing like I had planned  
Its coming round again, the slowly creeping hand  
Of time and its demands, it settles in its place  
Its shadow in my face, puts pressure in my day  
_****_Soon enough it comes, here it is again_

* * *

**

Drawing in a deep breath, Vaughn stepped into the busy Operations centre. The place had never felt the same to him since the news had leaked out. The sidelong glances, whispered comments, and then the worst of them all, the sympathetic 'How are you?'. Though, he had to admit, that since he had started to respond to those questions by blantantly ignoring who was posing them, such statements had been asked less and less.

Spotting Sydney across the room, Vaughn gave her a short nod. He thought it best to leave actually speaking to her until later. Their conversation from the day before was still playing on his mind.

"_Vaughn, could you please just—"_

"_Sydney, not now."_

"_Ok then. When?" she pressed._

_Exhaling loudly, Vaughn brought his hands up, rubbing his eyes. "I don't know. I just can't talk about it now. I don't know if I ever will be able to."_

"_Vaughn, this is not something that you can ignore. Whether you like it or not, it is going to happen."_

"_Don't you think I know that!" Vaughn snapped, immediately regretting it. Sydney did not deserve the brunt of his anger. "Sorry."_

_Sydney gave a short nod. "I know that what you are going through is…insane. But could you please let me offer you a little advice?" She paused, drawing in a deep breath. "You don't want to alienate the people who care about you, and the way you are going about things is doing just that. Just remember that they are the people who, in a short while, you are going to need to lean on more than ever."_

_Vaughn's expression hardened. "Maybe I won't have to lean on them at all."_

_Sydney's brow furrowed. "And just how did you come to that conclusion, Vaughn? You can't run away from this."_

"_Maybe I can't," he said. "But for now, it helps to think that I can."_

"Hey Vaughn," Weiss said breaking into Vaughn's thoughts as he approached his desk.

"Yeah?"

"Marshall and I were talking about hitting Davey's tonight, for a few drinks and some pool. You up for it?"

Vaughn shook his head. "I'll give it a miss tonight."

"Are you sure?" Weiss started. "Because you haven't—"

Vaughn silenced him with a _look_. "Not tonight. I've got some other stuff I need to do."

"Ok," Weiss backed off. He'd pushed Vaughn too far several times before and wasn't eager to do it again. "Next time, then."

"Yeah," Vaughn said, non-committal. "Next time."

* * *

**_The slowly creeping hand, of time and its demands  
_****_Soon enough it comes, and settles in its place  
_****_Puts pressure in my day, undignified and lame  
This life well its slipping right through my hands  
These days turned out nothing like I had planned_

* * *

**

"I'm concerned about Vaughn," Dixon said to Jack as the two men sat down in his office.

"How so?"

"He is getting more distracted by the day. More depressed."

Jack shifted in his seat. "And I am sure that everybody in this division understands why. We cannot expect for Agent Vaughn to be able to go about life as if everything were normal."

"I know that," Dixon replied. "I am jus starting to question whether I can continue to put him out in the field."

"What?"

"Face it, Jack. If he continues this way, he'll only become a risk."

Jack paused for a few seconds. "Agent Vaughn has been nothing but professional on all ops. I urge you to consider that decision carefully."

Dixon leaned back in his chair. 'I never realized that you were so concerned for Vaughn."

"I'm not. I just have some understanding of what he might be going through. Not entirely, just some. His life will be hanging on by a thread at the moment, and my guess is that work will be imperative for him at the moment."

"Fine," Dixon sighed. "I'll keep him in the field- for now. But if he continues to spiral downwards, I'll have no other choice to pull him out. And, unfortunately, I don't see him making a change for the better any time soon. Not when…"

Jack was nodding slightly. "Has there been any news?"

"No. But the days seem to be flying by. It won't be all that long."

"So," Jack said, rising from his seat. I guess that it's safe to say that the worst is yet to come."

* * *

**_Control well its slipping right through my hands  
_****_These days turned out nothing like I had planned  
Soon enough it comes  
Soon enough it comes  
To tie us down_

* * *

**

Dinner consisted of left over Chinese from the night before, eaten on the couch, in front of the TV that Vaughn had on but was not watching. How long could he continue this way? Sydney had been right- he was alienating everyone, but it was almost easier that way. Having nobody around meant less reminding of what was going on…

"_Stop!" Vaughn yelled._

"_Put the gun down!" Lauren demanded, her hold on Sydney tightening. "If you love her, you'll put the gun down."_

_Vaughn paused, but knowing that he had no other choice, he slowly started to lower his gun._

_Lauren's upper lip curled. "You really are a boyscout—"_

_Bang! Bang! BANG!_

Vaughn shook his head the memory of the smell of the gunpowder so string that it felt as if it were filling his nostrils. Who was he trying to kid? Alone, or surrounded by friend, there was not a chance of forgetting. If only those bullets had ended it all.

_As Lauren collapsed to the ground, Sydney ran forward, wrapping her arms around Vaughn. "Vaughn! What are you doing? How did you get here?"_

"_I came for you," he said quietly, and then gently pressed his lips into hers, savouring the moment that he had been longing for._

_As they pulled apart, Sydney looked over her shoulder. "Do you think that she's…"_

_Vaughn shrugged and stepped towards Lauren's body. Pressing his fingers to her throat, his stomach rolled as he felt a faint pulse._

"_She's still alive," he said dully as Sydney stepped up behind him. It took all of half a second for Vaughn to make a decision, and another second for him to pull out his gun and aim it at Lauren._

"_Don't," Sydney said, placing a hand on his._

"_Let me do this, Sydney."_

"_I can't," she replied. "I don't want for you to have to live with cold-blooded murder on your conscience."_

"_She deserves it."_

"_I know she does. But who's to say that she's even going to survive the trip home?" Sydney said. "And if she does, then she will be a prisoner. Incarcerated for life. Think how that will be for her. Don't give her the luxury of death."_

_Limply, Vaughn dropped his arm to his side. "Then I suggest you call for extraction before the temptation gets too great."_

_**xxxxx**_

_Back in Los Angeles, Vaughn was re-admitted to hospital as his wounds, courtesy of Katya Derevko, had worsened during his little unauthorized trip._

_Dozing lightly, he started slightly when there was a knock on his room's door._

"_Agent Vaughn?" An unfamiliar female doctor was standing in the doorway. "May I have a word?"_

"_What about?"_

"_I'm Dr Emery. I am currently attending to your wife—"_

"_Ex-wife," Vaughn cut in._

"_Oh yes, my apologies," she stammered. She had been given a background on the woman she was treating and could have kicked herself for that slip of the tongue. "ell, I just thought that you would like to be informed on her condition."_

"_Is she dead?" Vaughn asked, his voice completely void of emotion._

_Dr Emery blinked. "No," she replied. "She is in a coma though. And the chances of her coming out of it are difficult to determine."_

"_Well, good to know that there's a spot of sun on the horizon," Vaughn muttered. "Is that all?"_

"_Uh," the doctor cleared her throat. "No. There was one more matter that we need to discuss."_

"_What?"_

"_Agent Vaughn, were you aware that your wi- were you aware that Ms Reed is pregnant?"_


	2. Dark Clouds

Thank you all so much for your feedback. There is always nerves when I am posting a new fic, and your positive responses were such a relief!

**agent belle: **Well, it was great to here that I shocked you with the last sentence, becuase that was what I was hoping to do. I was a little worried that I was going to give it away during the chapter.

**Em-958: **My cliffhangers, hey? Well, I would not be paying proper homage to _Alias_ without cliffhangers, would I? Oh, and yeah I have a few more chapters written and up my sleeve.

**RoutineRiot: **Sydney and Vaughn's relationship will play a big part in this, but not in the fluffy sense that comes across in my other fics.

**Muddy Poodle: **Thank you for those compliments. I have written 9 chapters already, and yes, I always like to have a few writtne before posting so that I can ensure regular updates.

**o-see-no-evil-o: **Good question, and it is answered in this chapter.

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**Chapter Two:  
Dark Clouds**

_Back in Los Angeles, Vaughn was re-admitted to hospital as his wounds, courtesy of Katya Derevko, had worsened during his little unauthorized trip._

_Dozing lightly, he started slightly when there was a knock on his room's door._

"_Agent Vaughn?" An unfamiliar female doctor was standing in the doorway. "May I have a word?"_

"_What about?"_

"_I'm Dr Emery. I am currently attending to your wife—"_

"_Ex-wife," Vaughn cut in._

"_Oh yes, my apologies," she stammered. She had been given a background on the woman she was treating and could have kicked herself for that slip of the tongue. "Well, I just thought that you would like to be informed on her condition."_

"_Is she dead?" Vaughn asked, his voice completely void of emotion._

_Dr Emery blinked. "No," she replied. "She is in a coma though. And the chances of her coming out of it are difficult to determine."_

"_Well, good to know that there's a spot of sun on the horizon," Vaughn muttered. "Is that all?"_

"_Uh," the doctor cleared her throat. "No. There was one more matter that we need to discuss."_

"_What?"_

"_Agent Vaughn, were you aware that your wi- were you aware that Ms Reed is pregnant?"

* * *

_

'Hey Syd!" Weiss waved her over from one of the far pool tables. "Over here."

"Hey," Sydney approached, shrugging off her jacket. "I must say, brilliant idea. I'm due for a little escape."

"Well," Marshall gave a nonchalant shrug. "I am a genius."

"Yeah, but who was it that suggested tonight?" Weiss asked, and then turned to Sydney. 'Is Nadia coming?" he questioned her, almost a little too casually.

Sydney bit back a sly smile. "No. She had a report that she needed to complete. But she promised next time."

Weiss's shoulders slumped ever so slightly. "Oh…ok. Well, do you want to rack them up then?"

Sydney peered over her shoulder. "What about…he's not coming is he?"

"No," Weiss shook his head, leaning against the table. "I'm at a loss. What the hell are we supposed to do to help him?"

"I don't think that there is anything," Sydney replied. "He is about to become a father with a woman who betrayed him, and he in turn, tried to kill. All we can do is be there for him."

"Maybe Vaughn doesn't want anybody there," Marshall spoke up. "Maybe the support we're trying to give him is like a big, ugly reminder."

So what then?" Weiss said. "We back off completely and just allow him to struggle?"

"You know what?" Sydney said. "Sometimes, I think that he needs some big and ugly reminders."

Marshall blinked. "You do?"

"Yes. As awful and manipulative as Lauren was, he married her, and now there is an innocent baby in the equation. I know that it will be hard as hell, but Vaughn needs to take some responsibility. After all, regardless of the mother, this child will be his son or daughter."

"Oh god," Weiss's expression was almost stricken. "Please don't tell me that you actually said that to his face."

Sydney allowed herself a small laugh. "No. I don't actually go looking to have my head ripped off…but, if the time comes when I feel that I have no other choice to say it, then I will."

"Uh," Marshall, cleared his throat. "Do you think that…that he won't want to keep the baby?"

"I'm sure that he has considered that," Sydney said. "But, I think that even Vaughn himself is well aware that he is in no state to make such a decision."

"Do you think that he will ever be…in the right state of mind, that is," Marshall put forth.

"Who knows," Weiss shrugged. "Who knows?"

* * *

"_Agent Vaughn, were you aware that your wi- were you aware that Ms Reed is pregnant?"_

_Vaughn stared at Dr Emery, momentarily stunned. "What?' he managed to stammer finally._

"_She is pregnant. By my examinations, I would say that she is close to four months."_

_A loud ringing had started in Vaughn's ears. "And it's…"_

"_It's fine," Dr Emery said. "And even though Ms Reed is comatose, as long as she remains stable, it's my opinion that the baby will continue to grow normally." She paused, waiting for a response from Vaughn. When she received none, she continued. "I understand that this is a lot for you to take in. I'll let you know now that there will be plenty of support—"_

"_I want a paternity test," Vaughn cut in._

_Dr Emery blinked. "Excuse me?"_

"_I want a paternity test," he repeated. "She wasn't exactly faithful and I want nothing to do with this situation if I don't have to."_

"_Ok, Agent Vaughn," Dr Emery said. "As you wish."

* * *

_

"Nadia," Sydney called out as she stepped through the front door. It was such a comfort to be able to come home to a friend, a sister, instead of an empty apartment. Especially now since she and Vaughn had been put on an indefinite hiatus. "You here?"

"Yeah," Nadia stepped out of her bedroom. "Did you have a good time?"

Sydney nodded, throwing her bag and jacket on the kitchen bench. "For the most part. There was kind of a dark cloud hanging around though."

"Vaughn?" Nadia probed gently.

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "That obvious, hey?"

"Well, the situation has kind of been the centre of attention ever since I joined the CIA," Nadia replied. "The centre of your attention, at least."

Sydney brought a hand up, massaging her temple. "Not quite."

"How are you holding up?"

'Me?" Sydney sounded surprised.

"Yes, you. Everybody has been so focused on Vaughn, but I can't imagine that this has been very easy for you."

Sydney sighed. "It kills me to see Vaughn so…so wretched. And I miss him- the Vaughn that he was three years ago. Last year there was a small part of me that held onto the hope that, one day, maybe things could go back to the way they were. I now know that will never happen."

"I've been talking to Eric," Nadia said. "Nobody doubts that Vaughn still loves you."

"I know, as I do him," Sydney replied. "But until he sorts himself out, nothing can happen."

* * *

"_Hey man," Weiss walked into Vaughn's hospital room. "How are you doing?"_

_Vaughn just looked at him. "How do you think I am doing?" he muttered. "I didn't kill that bitch when I had the chance and now she is lying there, in a coma and pregnant."_

_Weiss's jaw dropped, as he comprehended Vaughn's final word. "What?"_

"_She's pregnant. Knocked up. With child…is there any other way that you would like me to put it?"_

"_But…but…but how could a baby have survived a shooting and surgery?"_

"_Like I have a clue," Vaughn practically spat. "Its mother is practically Satan, maybe that has something to do with it."_

_Weiss paused. "And the father? Is it…"_

"_I don't know," Vaughn replied. "I just hope to god that I'm not."

* * *

_

"Ok," Dixon stepped in front of Sydney and Vaughn in the conference room. "Echelon picked up transmission about a meet between members of the Alpiniste Faction and the Pfadfinder Division."

"Who?" Sydney asked. "I've never heard of them."

"Both are fairly small crime groups, neither making much of an impact," Dixon replied. "But there are rumours circulating that the two are looking to merge. This is what we believe this meet is about."

"So what do you want us to do?" Vaughn asked.

"Simple surveillance. I want images of all involved in the meet. If these guys are going to be rising up the criminal ranks, I want us to know exactly who the players are."

"Sounds easy enough," Sydney commented. "So where is this meet taking place?"

"A club in Rome," Dixon replied, handing both of them a folder. "Details are in there. Wheels up in two hours."

* * *

_"Agent Vaughn," Dr Emery tapped lightly on the door, and then stepped into the room. "How are you feeling today?"_

_Vaughn was not in the mood for small talk, especially as he was well aware why she was really there. "Do you have the results?"_

_Dr Emery nodded. "Yes, and they were positive. You are the father of this baby, Agent Vaughn."

* * *

_

The flight, so far, had been silent. Placing her mission brief down, Sydney stood and walked across the aisle, seating herself besides Vaughn.

"So," she started. "What do you reckon about the op- could we do it with our eyes shut or what?"

"Hmm…" Vaughn sighed and then broke off into a large yawn.

Sydney's brow furrowed. "Vaughn, when was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"

"Sydney, please don't. I am fine."

"Yeah, well, no offence, but you are kind of resembling the living dead."

That comment did what she had hoped to achieve, and elicited a small smile from Vaughn. "Nothing that a good shave won't fix," he said, rubbing his stubble.

"You wish."

"Enough about me," Vaughn said, picking up his folder. "As easy as this op is, let's run over this one more time."


	3. What Friends Are For

Thank you all for your feedback

**specialfrog: **Exams, ugh. I can totally relate. Hope that they all went well for you.

**agent belle: **A Powderfinger fan, hey- great to hear. It's my (if somewhat bised) opinion that Australia has some of the best rock bands ever.

**Muddy Poodle: **I'll let you know that the last chapter won't be the only time that Sydney 'tells it' to Vaughn :)

**

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**Chapter Three:  
What Friends Are For**

_Vaughn was not in the mood for small talk, especially as he was well aware why she was really there. "Do you have the results?"_

_Dr Emery nodded. "Yes, and they were positive. You are the father of this baby, Agent Vaughn."_

_**xxxxx**_

"_Hmm…" Vaughn sighed and then broke off into a large yawn._

_Sydney's brow furrowed. "Vaughn, when was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"_

"_Sydney, please don't. I am fine."_

"_Yeah, well, no offence, but you are kind of resembling the living dead."_

_That comment did what she had hoped to achieve, and elicited a small smile from Vaughn. "Nothing that a good shave won't fix," he said, rubbing his stubble._

"_You wish."_

"_Enough about me," Vaughn said, picking up his folder. "as easy as this op is, let's run over this one more time."

* * *

_

Tucking a strand of her curly black wig behind her ear, Sydney swivelled slightly, glancing around the dark, jazz club. Vaughn was loitering around upstairs, by the exit, as a back up in case she could not get images of all the players in the meet.

"Got them," she murmured into her comms. "Table in the corner to my right." Reaching up, she made it look as if she were adjusting her black-framed glasses. Really, she was activating the camera that Marshall had installed in them.

In quick succession, she managed to get pictures of all but the two who were seated with their backs to her. Sighing, she leaned back on her stool. The position of the table, right in the corner, wouldn't allow her to circle it. She would have to wait until the meet was over and they turned to leave.

"Vaughn," she said into her comms. "Got all but the two in the grey and blue. We'll need to get them on their way out. Stand by."

"Got you. Ready and waiting," was his reply.

It was several minutes later that there was movement at the table- those involved with the meet were standing up. Bringing her hand back to the glasses, Sydney sat up slightly. However, before she got the chance to take a shot, a large group of people approached the bar, blocking the view.

"Vaughn, I can't get the shot. It's up to you." Sydney paused but there was no conformation on his behalf. "Vaughn, targets are approaching." She jumped off the stool and made her way to the staircase. The group from the table were already at the top. "Vaughn, they're right by you. Get the shot now!"

Still, there was nothing, and Sydney's heart sank when she saw their targets walk out the door. She dashed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Glancing around, she finally spotted Vaughn slumped at one of the small tables.

"Vaughn," she walked across. "Did you get them?"

He shook his head. "I…didn't…"

"But why…" Sydney trailed off, spotting something behind Vaughn. Suddenly, she understood.

* * *

"_Coming," Sydney called, as she ran to her front door. Flinging it open, her face broke into a smile. "Hey Weiss."_

"_You weren't busy, were you?" he asked, stepping inside._

"_Nope." She paused, taking in the serious expression on Weiss's face. "What's going on? Is it Vaughn? Is he ok?"_

"_He's fine," Weiss reassured her. "Physically, anyway."_

_Sydney frowned. "What do you mean by that?"_

"_It's to do with Lauren._

"_What about her?"_

_Weiss drew in a deep breath. "She's pregnant, Syd. Somehow the baby survived."_

_For a second, it felt to Sydney as if the Earth had just shifted under her feet. "She's…"_

"_I know what you're thinking, Syd. It completely spun me out when Vaughn told me."_

"_But…is Vaughn the father? Lauren was sleeping with Sark, and he probably wasn't the only one. Maybe he—"_

"_Vaughn's the father, Syd. He demanded a paternity test. The baby is his."_

"_Oh my god…" she placed a hand on the kitchen bench, steadying herself. "What the hell is Vaughn going to do?"_

"_I've got no idea," Weiss shrugged. "And I don't think that he does, either."

* * *

_

Peering over the balcony at the club, Vaughn was more than grateful of the particular style of music. There was no way that he would have been able to handle any pounding dance mixes. The mellow undertones of the jazz suited his mood perfectly.

"Got them," Sydney's voice came across his comms. "Table in the corner to my right."

Vaughn's eyes followed in that direction. There were six men seated around the table, all incredibly engrossed with whatever they were discussing.

"Vaughn. Got all but the two in the grey and the blue. We'll need to get them on their way out. Stand by."

"Got you," Vaughn replied. "Ready and waiting."

Taking a step back from the balcony, he turned slightly, his eyes falling on the entrance/exit of the club. He stiffened slightly when he saw a pregnant woman enter the club, and had to grab onto the rail of the balcony as his stomach rolled threateningly. The same thing happened every time he came across a woman who was expecting a child. It was like a cold shower of reality washing down on him, cruelly reminding him of what his life was about to become.

But, for some reason, this woman was having a greater effect on him. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her blonde hair and…

'_That's what she would be looking like now_,' a voice taunted Vaughn from the back of his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut. Until this moment, the image of Lauren pregnant had never crossed his mind. In all this time his only focus had been the baby.

Spotting an empty table nearby, Vaughn collapsed into one of the chairs. The floor no longer felt stable under his feet.

"Vaughn, I can't get the shot. It's up to you." Sydney's voice came across Vaughn's comms. He opened his mouth to reply, but found he couldn't. The nauseating rolls of his stomach were much to threatening. "Vaughn, targets are approaching."

The woman walked past Vaughn at that moment, sitting herself at the table behind him. He could hear Sydney's voice in his ear, but did not comprehend it at all.

"Vaughn, they are right by you. Get the shot now!"

'_That is what she looks like. You got involved and now look where you've ended up. That is what she looks like- just try and get a good night's sleep now._'

"Vaughn." He looked up to see Sydney approaching his table. "Did you get them?"

He shook his head. "I…didn't…" was all that he could manage to say.

Sydney looked less than impressed. "But why…" she trailed off, glancing over his shoulder. As her frown increased even more, Vaughn realized that she knew exactly what was going on.

* * *

_Sydney paused at the doorway hesitantly. Vaughn had his back to her, as he shrugged on a jacket, a small overnight bag on the bed before him._

_Taking a step forward, Sydney cleared her throat, causing Vaughn to turn around._

"_Syd." He smiled at her, but it did not reach his eyes. He walked towards her, wrapping her in his arms, which she allowed. However, when he moved his face closer to hers, Sydney found herself backing away._

"_Stop," she said quietly._

"_What…" Confusion crossed Vaughn's expression, but then suddenly disappeared. "You know about…"_

_Sydney nodded. "I do."_

"_And so what?" Vaughn's voice took on a slight edge. "Because of it, we're done? We don't have a chance?"_

"_No," Sydney replied. "I just don't think that, considering recent revelations, now is a good time for us to try and start anew."_

_Vaughn's shoulders slumped. "I can't say I blame you. If I could, I would want to be as far away from this whole…'thing' as I could."_

_Sydney's brow furrowed slightly. "I never said that, either. Vaughn, there is not a chance that I am going to sit back and watch you go through this alone. I will be here…only, just as a friend."

* * *

_

Sydney was fuming and Vaughn was feeling more than a little uncomfortable on the tip home, a result of the vibes that she was sending in his direction. He knew that it was up to him to ease the tension.

"Syd," he spoke up quietly. "I'm sorry for not getting the images." He waited for a response, but received none. So, he tried a different tact. "On the bright side, at least it wasn't a task of great national security," he said, trying to get a smile from her.

The effect was the direct opposite. Sydney turned to him, eyes flashing. "That's just the thing, Vaughn. We were given a simple task and you couldn't even do that without getting distracted!"

"Sydney, I—"

"No!" she yelled. "I don't want to hear excuses. Think about it. What if things had turned nasty in there? Out in the field I need a partner who has my back!"

"Sydney, you know that I would never endanger you- in the field or out."

"I used to believe that," she replied. "But after tonight…"She paused, chewing her bottom lip. "Vaughn, I told you that I would be your friend in all of this, right?" He nodded. "And being a good friend means that I should be completely honest with you."

"Sydney, where are you going with this?" Vaughn asked.

She drew in a deep breath. "I cannot even begin to fathom what must be going on in your head, but let me be blunt. Vaughn, it is time for you to pull your head out of the sand and start to deal. Now, I don't know how exactly you are supposed to do that, but you are going to have to. There is an innocent baby in this equation, Vaughn. A baby that you played a very big part in creating. You are going to be a _father_, Vaughn and it's time for you to face up to that fact."

Vaughn's expression had hardened. "You've got no right."

"I am only trying to help."

"Did I ask for your help?" Vaughn asked through gritted teeth. "No, I didn't. So let _me_ be blunt, Sydney. When I want your god damned help, I'll ask for it." With that he stood and moved down several rows behind her.

Sydney slumped back in her seat. '_That's what friends are for_,' she couldn't help but think.


	4. One More Bullet

Thank you all so much for your feedback

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Four:  
One More Bullet**

"_Sydney, where are you going with this?" Vaughn asked._

_She drew in a deep breath. "I cannot even begin to fathom what must be going on in your head, but let me be blunt. Vaughn, it is time for you to pull your head out of the sand and start to deal. Now, I don't know how exactly you are supposed to do that, but you are going to have to. There is an innocent baby in this equation, Vaughn. a baby that you played a very big part in creating. You are going to be a _father_, Vaughn and it's time for you to face up to that fact."_

_Vaughn's expression had hardened. "You've got no right."_

"_I am only trying to help."_

"_Did I ask for your help?" Vaughn asked through gritted teeth. "No, I didn't. So let _me_ be blunt, Sydney. When I want your god damned help, I'll ask for it." With that he stood and moved down several rows behind her._

_Sydney slumped back in her seat. '_That's what friends are for_,' she couldn't help but think.

* * *

_

"So, he was pretty mad then?" Nadia asked, handing Sydney a steaming mug and then sitting down beside her on the couch.

Sydney nodded, tucking her feet up underneath her. "Furious…I should have never said anything."

"You did the right thing, Syd."

"You think?"

"I do," Nadia replied. "The awful truth is hard to hear at first, but after some time to think, it does all of us the world of good to hear it every now and then."

"You didn't see him, though. The look in his eyes."

"Just give Vaughn some time…" Nadia trailed off as the sound of the doorbell rang out.

"I'll get it," Sydney said, standing up and heading over.

"Some time," Nadia continued, "to gain some perspective and he'll-" she cut short as Sydney opened the door. Standing on the other side was Vaughn.

"Hi," he said, his tone almost sheepish.

"Hi…what are you doing here?" Sydney couldn't help but blurt out.

"I, uh," Vaughn paused, massaging the nape of his neck. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Um, ok," Sydney looked back at Nadia. "I'm just going—"

"I'll see you when you get back," Nadia replied, her eyes clearly saying 'I told you so.'

"Come on," Sydney said to Vaughn, pointing at the door. "Let's go for a walk."

* * *

_Vaughn stood in the empty living room of his new apartment. There were no boxes of belongings to unpack, or old furniture to shift. He had brought nothing from his own home, instead opting to buy all the bare essentials brand new. _

_He stared out of the window onto the quiet street before him. The day was beautiful. It was just a shame that everything was tainted for him now._

_'_You are the father of this baby, Agent Vaughn…father…baby…father…_'_

_Vaughn shook his head, almost violently, in an attempt to rid his mind of those echoing words. But he couldn't. He had fathered a child. And not with a woman whom he loved. With…her._

_If only he had succeeded in what he wanted to do. Perhaps all that would have been needed was one more bullet. One more and all the problems that were pressing down on him would have been non-existent._

One more bullet.

_There were ways, ways that could make everything better. Vaughn brought a hand up, rubbing his eyes, his mind racing._

One more bullet.

_He straightened up. For the first time in days he felt as if there may be a little ray of hope somewhere in the future.

* * *

_

"I owe you an apology," Vaughn said as they walked, his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. "You hit the nail on the head and I was not ready to hear it. I'm probably still not, but that does not excuse the way I spoke to you. I'm sorry."

Sydney gave a short nod. "I appreciate you telling me that."

"I should…I should have never allowed myself to get distracted on an op."

"What exactly happened?" Sydney probed gently. "I mean, I can sort of assume…if you don't want to talk about—"

"No, I'll talk," Vaughn paused, exhaling deeply. "It's like a real slap in the face whenever I see a pregnant woman, but there was something different about this one. For some reason she made me think if Lauren. Not once have I though about what she must look like carrying…our," Vaughn seemed to really struggle with that word, "child. But since looking at that woman, I can't get the image out of my head."

"Maybe," Sydney started. "Maybe you need a break. Go somewhere where you could really get away from everything."

Vaughn sighed. "If I thought that would help, I'd be out of here in a flash. But it won't. Work, on the other hand, gives me something else to focus on."

"But your focus on work is starting to falter."

"Sydney," Vaughn stopped his steps. "What happened at the club won't happen again."

"I'm just worried. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"How about this?" Vaughn said. "If I believe that there is a slight chance that I may not be able to perform at 100 per cent, for whatever reason, then I wll pull myself off active duty."

"You promise?" Sydney asked.

"I promise," he replied.

* * *

Vaughn's answering machine was flashing when he walked into his apartment after the walk with Sydney. Pressing the play button, he headed towards the fridge, but stopped when he heard who had left the message. 

"…this is Dr Emery. I've left several other messages, but you don't seem to be replying. If you get this could you please contact me at the hospital? It is important that we talk. Thank you."

Vaughn swallowed hard. He had hoped, that by ignoring the messages, that Dr Emery would back off. However, that did not seem to be the case.

He had two options. Delete the message and then wait a day or two before the doctor's next hone call. Or he could call her, talk and get whatever the hell she wanted out of the way.

'_It's time for you to pull your head out of the sand_…'

Vaughn shook his head. It had to be Sydney's voice, didn't it? Sighing, he picked up his phone. May as well get this over and done with.

"Yes, hello…I need to speak with Dr Emery…Michael Vaughn…" Impatiently, he drummed his fingers on the bench to as he was put on hold.

"Agent Vaughn?" Dr Emery's voice came over the line.

"Yes."

"So you finally got my messages?"

"What is it that you want to discuss?"

"It's Ms Reed," Dr Emery said. "I would like to deliver the baby sometime in the next week or so. I need your consent to perform a C-section, when we believe the time is right."

Vaughn was in no way ready to hear that news. "What…what do you need my consent for?"

"Technically, you are still her next of kin. And being the father, I thought that you would want to be aware of what was going on with your child."

"Oh…well, then do whatever you feel is right."

"Do you want to be present?"

"No," Vaughn answered very quickly. "Just let me know when it's over."

"Ok then, Agent Vaughn," Dr Emery replied. "You should expect to hear from me soon."

* * *

_Vaughn stood, almost frozen, outside the closed door. The contents within his jacket pocket felt heavy and that troubled him somewhat. Initially, this decision had brought some relief, but now, he was feeling just as compressed as ever._

_One more bullet, or in this case, morphine. Lauren lay, unconscious, on the other side of the door and all it would take was one injection for all his problems to go away._

_Gripping the doorknob, Vaughn went to open the door but then stopped. He wasn't sure if he could go through with it. Lauren, he did not have an issue with. But he would not only be getting rid of her._

_And Vaughn was not sure if he could live with that on his conscience._

'This is it- make your decision. Just remember, whatever path you choose, it will make an impact on the rest of your life.'

_Vaughn's grip on the doorknob loosened. It suddenly occurred to him that he was considering something that Lauren would do without second thought. And he was nothing like her. He was not that person at all._

_Limply, Vaughn dropped his hand to his side, turned and walked away from the door.

* * *

_

As soon as Vaughn ended the call with Dr Emery, he knew that he could no longer ignore what was happening. And given the promise that he had made to Sydney, the next step was obvious.

* * *

"Dixon, may I have a word?" 

The older man looked up from his desk. "What is it, Vaughn?"

"I, uh," Vaughn cleared his throat. "I'd like to request being taken off active duty."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want full leave, but I don't think that I should be out in the field at the moment."

"Ok then," Dixon leaned back in his chair. "May I ask what brought on this decision?"

Vaughn hesitated. "I received a call from Lauren's doctor. She said…she…" he paused. "It's a matter of days…and I am in no right frame of mind to concentrate on ops. I would never forgive myself if I endangered another agent."

Dixon nodded. "Fair enough…there should be no problem in processing your request."

"Thank you," Vaughn said, and then turned to walk out of the office.

"And Vaughn," Dixon said after him.

"Yeah?"

"If you need anything else, we are all here."

"I know," Vaughn said quietly, and then walked out of the office.


	5. The Hard Question

Thank you all so much for your feedback.

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* * *

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**Chapter Five:  
The Hard Question**

_"I don't want full leave, but I don't think that I should be out in the field at the moment."_

_"Ok then," Dixon leaned back in his chair. "May I ask what brought on this decision?"_

_Vaughn hesitated. "I received a call from Lauren's doctor. She said…she…" he paused. "It's a matter of days…and I am in no right frame of mind to concentrate on ops. I would never forgive myself if I endangered another agent."_

_Dixon nodded. "Fair enough…there should be no problem in processing your request."_

_"Thank you," Vaughn said, and then turned to walk out of the office._

_"And Vaughn," Dixon said after him._

_"Yeah?"_

_"If you need anything else, we are all here."_

"_I know," Vaughn said quietly, and then walked out of the office.

* * *

_

From across the JTF, two pairs of eyes were watching Vaughn, taking in his expression and demeanour as he exited Dixon's office. Eyebrows raised, Sydney and Weiss both looked at each other questioningly. After a second, she gave him a nod. 'You go,' her eyes read. And so, Weiss rose from his desk and headed over to his friend.

"Hey," he said. "What's going on?

"I just pulled myself off active duty," Vaughn replied, as he gathered up some papers from his desk.

"What?" Weiss could not keep the surprise out of his voice. "Why?"

"Because I got a call from Dr Emery- she wants to perform a C-section sometime in the next week," Vaughn said, looking Weiss directly in the eyes. "Suffice to say, my concentration at the moment is not exactly optimal."

"Vaughn, look I—"

"Weiss," Vaughn cut in, though not angrily. "There's really nothing else to be said. Now, if you'll excuse me, I am taking the rest of the day off. If you need me, I'll be at home. If not, I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

It was early evening when Vaughn finally heard a knock on his door. He had been expecting it all day, and before he had even opened it, he knew exactly who would be standing there. 

"Hello Sydney."

She walked in, her eyes scrutinizing him intently. "Weiss told me everything.

Vaughn sighed. "I figured he would."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Well what?" Sydney threw up her hands. "Vaughn, this is huge- good huge or bad huge, I'm not sure. But here you…" she trailed off, as her eyes travelled around the living room and kitchen. Abruptly, she turned on her heel and walked towards the door of Vaughn's spare room. Throwing it open, she revealed a stark and empty room. Her brow furrowing into a frown, Sydney whirled back around to look at Vaughn.

"Vaughn, is there any part of you that actually wants this baby?" she demanded.

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she replied, taking a step towards him. "Look around this place. It doesn't exactly resemble somewhere for a person to bring a child in." she looked back into the spare room. "Have you brought anything, Vaughn? A cot? A change table? A dummy? _Nappies_?"

Vaughn was looking distinctly uncomfortable. "I, uh… I haven't exactly gotten around to it."

"Haven't got around to it or deliberately pushed it aside?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn didn't reply. Moments like these were some of the pitfalls of Sydney knowing him so well.

"Vaughn," she said, her tone gentle. "It's pretty obvious that you are prepared to be become a father. What's not so obvious is whether you actually want to _be_ a father."

"Sydney—"

"I know that this situation is far from clear cut, but you need to figure out where you stand…do you want to raise this child?"

"I don't know!" Vaughn blurted out. "And I know what you're thinking- how can I not know? But I just don't, ok."

"Vaughn," Sydney put a hand in his shoulder. "I'm not judging you."

"I know you're not," he said and then inhaled deeply. "The thought has crossed my mind, that perhaps I shouldn't keep this baby. But there is just something that stops me from pursuing it further. I know that there is no way that I can make a decision until I do this thing for real and see whether I am cut out for it."

"Vaughn," Sydney said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember, not long after I came to CIA, that night on the pier?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Vaughn's face. "The night you threw your beeper in the Pacific."

Sydney let out a soft laugh. "Yeah…and it was also the night that you told me, that whenever I felt at my lowest, that I had your number. Do you remember that?"

Vaughn gave a short nod. "Hmm."

"Well, I just want to make sure that you know that that deal goes both ways."

"I knew that," Vaughn replied. "But it is comforting to be reminded every now and then."

* * *

"Uh Syd," Weiss stopped short, his expression completely daunted by the contents of the store around them. "I'm not sure if I am going to be much help I haven't had all that much experience with this…stuff." 

"And you think I have?" Sydney asked.

Weiss didn't reply. Instead his brow was knitted with confusion as he picked up a box containing a breast pump. "What on earth is this supposed to do?"

Sydney swatted his hand. "Put that down. We are here for the essentials for Vaughn- try reading the label instead of just looking at the picture. Do you think that he'll be needing that?"

Weiss's eyes widened slightly and he dropped the package as if it were a live bomb. "Okaaay…told you I had no experience."

"And that is why we are going to get some help," Sydney said, looking around for an assistant.

"Does Vaughn know that we are doing this?"

"Vaughn is still trying to come to terms with the fact that there will be a real, live baby at his place in a matter of a week. Us doing this is one less thing for him to worry about."

"So I should take that as a no?"

Sydney clicked her fingers. "Baby monitor," she said, ignoring Weiss's question. "I didn't put it on the list- don't let me forget it."

"Syd," Weiss grabbed her arm. "We aren't interfering are we?"

"Well, I guess we are," Sydney admitted. "But Vaughn will be grateful for it, trust me."

"Ok then, fine. But only if you promise to take the fall if Vaughn turns out to be not so grateful."

"Deal," Sydney said. "Now—"

"Hi," a sales assistant, with a nametag reading 'Abby', approached them. "Can I help you two at all?"

"Actually, you can," Sydney replied. "I have a whole list here and no idea where to start."

Abby smiled. "A little excited, are we?"

Weiss screwed up his nose. "Huh?"

Abby gave a subtle nod in the direction of Sydney's flat stomach. "You're getting in a tad early," she replied. "A bit eager, hey?"

Sydney and Weiss glanced at each other. It had truly not occurred to them how their appearance at a baby store would be construed, and they now had two options. Play along, or have the awkward task of trying to come up with an explanation as to why they were there.

Silently, Sydney raised her eyebrows at Weiss and he gave her a quick nod. '_What the hell_,' he thought. The whole alias thing was a part of their job, after all.

Letting out a soft laugh, Sydney nodded at Abby. "Just a bit."

"As are most couples who come through here," Abby said. "First child?"

"Oh, it's my first," Sydney replied. "But its Eric's fifth," she added, ignoring the jab in the small of her back.

Abby's eyes widened slightly. "Oh, well congratulations." She gestured behind her. "How about we start with the cots?"

"That would be fantastic," Sydney said.

As Abby headed off, Weiss leaned into Sydney's ear. "My fifth?" he hissed.

"Don't be so uptight. It's a compliment to your young and virile state."

"Thanks," he snorted. "Oh, and by the way?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you want to play couple in a baby store, why don't you send your sister along?"

* * *

"You and Weiss did what?" Vaughn asked. 

"Is that ok?" Sydney replied on the other end of the line. "I thought it would be something less for you to worry about. If you don't want it all, then we can just return it."

"No, it's fine," Vaughn, said. "Thank you."

"Well, it is all at my place for whenever you want it."

"Um, I'll come by tomorrow- is that ok?"

"Yup. I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see you." Vaughn placed the phone back into the receiver. As grateful as he was for what Sydney and Weiss had done, it had left him feeling unsettled.

He was about to head into the bathroom when his phone rang again. he gave a wry smile, wondering just what Sydney had forgotten to tell him during their conversation.

"Hey Syd—"

"Agent Vaughn, this is Dr Emery."

Vaughn stomach clenched. '_Hang up_,' a voice in his head screamed. '_Just hang up_.'

"Agent Vaughn? Are you there?"

"Yes," his reply was barely audible.

"It's a girl," Dr Emery said. "You have a daughter."


	6. A Lucky Man

Thank you all so much for your feedback.

**RoutineRiot: **I'm glad that you enjoyed the scene in the baby store- I thought that this fic was long due for a lighter moment.

**

* * *

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**Chapter Six:  
A Lucky Man**

_"You and Weiss did what?" Vaughn asked._

"_Is that ok?" Sydney replied on the other end of the line. "I thought it would be something less for you to worry about. If you don't want it all, then we can just return it."_

"_No, it's fine," Vaughn, said. "Thank you."_

"_Well, it is all at my place for whenever you want it."_

"_Um, I'll come by tomorrow- is that ok?"_

"_Yup. I'll see you then."_

"_Yeah, see you." Vaughn placed the phone back into the receiver. As grateful as he was for what Sydney and Weiss had done, it had left him feeling unsettled._

_He was about to head into the bathroom when his phone rang again. he gave a wry smile, wondering jus what Sydney had forgotten to tell him during their conversation._

"_Hey Syd—"_

"_Agent Vaughn, this is Dr Emery."_

_Vaughn stomach clenched. '_Hand up_,' a voice in his head screamed. '_Just hang up_.'_

"_Agent Vaughn? Are you there?"_

"_Yes," his reply was barely audible._

"_It's a girl," Dr Emery said. "You have a daughter."_

Closing his eyes Vaughn tried to find it in himself to respond but was unable to. He almost felt winded by the news.

"Agent Vaughn?" Dr Emery was saying. "Is everything alright?"

Without a word, Vaughn placed the phone back in the receiver, and then lifted it off the hook to prevent any further calls.

A girl. A little baby girl. He had a daughter. A real live person who was now going to be relying on him. A real live person whom he had created with…

Turning abruptly on his heel, Vaughn headed into the kitchen. He needed a drink.

* * *

Hours later Vaughn had been steadily making his way through a bottle of Jack Daniels. Getting trashed wasn't something that he enjoyed to do, but if he were drunk then he wouldn't be able to drive. And if he couldn't drive then there was no way that he could go to the hospital to collect her. That was a task that he wanted to wait until tomorrow to face. He would be more ready then. 

Suddenly, Vaughn felt an almost irrational fear seize him. What if he couldn't? Did he really expect that he would be able to walk into that hospital, take that baby in his arms and then bring her home? Who was he trying to kid?

Standing up, Vaughn made his way over to the phone, his steps somewhat unsteady.

'…_I just want to make sure that you know that that deal goes both ways…_'

Completely oblivious to the time, Vaughn began to dial the familiar number, wondering whether Sydney had been including drunken calls in their little deal.

"Hello?" her voice was distinctly groggy.

"It's me," Vaughn replied.

"Vaughn? What…what's going on?"

Vaughn did not reply, unsure of what exactly he was going to say next. Was it fair of him to dump all of his problems on her? She had said that she would be his friend, but was he exploiting that?

"Vaughn." She no longer sounded groggy, only concerned. "Talk to me. What has happened?"

"I…" his breath caught in his throat. "It's a girl," he managed to say and then hung up the phone.

* * *

_"Ah," Lauren sighed and then stepped inside from the hotel's balcony. "Have I told you thank you yet?"_

_Vaughn chuckled as he sat up in the bed. "Only about ten thousand times since we left L.A."_

_Lauren smiled. "Well, I am forever grateful. Everything was just getting to be a little too much- my mother especially."_

"_Well, you can't blame her for being a tad over-excited," Vaughn replied. "After all, her only daughter is getting married in less than four weeks."_

"_A tad over-excited?" Lauren repeated, sitting down on the bed. "What planet have you been living on, Michael? Had it not been for her insistence we could have had a long engagement and had plenty of time to plan this wedding. Are you telling me that the insanity of the past couple of months haven't bothered you?"_

_Vaughn grinned. "Well, maybe a little. But as long as we both make it to the altar then it will all be worth it."_

"_You make a good point," she said, stretching out her legs. "But I still cannot wait until the wedding is over and we can go back to being normal- without mum on our backs."_

"_You think that will stop after the wedding?" Vaughn snorted. "Because I get the feeling that your mother- and mine- will be on our back's more than ever."_

_Lauren's brow furrowed. "Why?"_

_Vaughn leaned in closer. "Grandchildren," he whispered._

"_Oh god," Lauren looked horrified. "They will, won't they?"_

_Looking at her expression, Vaughn couldn't help but laugh. "Come here," he said, pulling her into his arms. "You know, there is a way that we could stop them."_

"_Michael!" Lauren slapped him jokingly. "You're on their side, aren't you?"_

"_Maybe just a little bit," Vaughn replied, pressing his lips onto the top of her head. "I know that this sounds so completely corny, but when I look at you, I can't wait for the day when I can call you the mother of my child."_

_For a second Lauren's face was blank, but soon widened into a smile. "One day, Michael. I promise you, one day."

* * *

_

Sydney was jolted from her sleep by the loud ringing of her phone. Looking at the time, 1.54am, she groaned, reaching across for the receiver.

"Hello."

"It's me," came Vaughn's dull reply.

"Vaughn? What…" Sydney was about to question him about the time, but stopped. If he was calling at her at this hour, it had to be important. "What's going on?"

He gave no reply, and to Sydney, his silence was speaking in volumes.

"Vaughn," she said, sitting up. "Talk to me. What has happened?"

"I…it's a girl." With that his end of the line went dead.

For a few seconds it was all Sydney could do to just sit there and digest what Vaughn had told her. So the moment had finally arrived.

But then, shaking herself out of her stupor, Sydney threw off her covers. Vaughn's call had obviously been some sort of cry for help. She had to get over there.

Throwing on some clothes, Sydney sat on the edge of the bed to pull some shoes on when there was a soft tap on her bedroom door. Nadia.

"Sydney. I heard your phone. Is everything ok?"

"It was Vaughn," Sydney replied.

Nadia's eyes widened slightly. "The baby?"

Sydney nodded. "I'm going to see him now." Standing up, she grabbed her bag and headed out of the room.

Nadia followed her to the front door. "Is there anything that I can do?"

"Actually, there is. Could you please call Weiss- he'd want to know," Sydney said. "Tell him I'm heading over now and I'll keep him posted."

"Ok," Nadia replied as Sydney opened the door. "Hey Syd."

Sydney turned back around. "Yeah?"

"He may not feel like it, but Vaughn is a lucky man with the friends he's got."

* * *

The smell of liquor assaulted Sydney's senses as soon as Vaughn opened his door. 

"How much have you had?" she asked, not even saying hello.

"Not enough," Vaughn mumbled.

"Yeah, well I think that I am going to dispute that," Sydney said and then pointed to the couch. "Sit. I'll make you some coffee."

"No coffee," Vaughn said, throwing his arms up. "I am a new father. I am _celebrating_. You can't celebrate with coffee."

"Why do I get the feeling that any celebratory mood disappeared with that bottle of Jack," Sydney said, noting the empty bottle on the coffee table. "And whatever else you have ingested tonight."

Vaughn just looked at her. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

Sydney sighed. "Congratulations," she said. "When was she born?"

"At exactly 5.47pm this evening," Vaughn replied, wishing that he had another drink in hand.

"And what does she look like?"

Vaughn shrugged. "How should I know/"

Sydney's eyes narrowed. "You haven't been to the hospital?"

Vaughn paused before answering. The look on Sydney's face told him one thing. She was about to blow. "No," he replied.

"Vaughn," her tone was surprisingly restrained. "You can't keep trying to ignore the fact that this baby exists."

"I'm not…I just couldn't tonight. Tomorrow."

"Yeah and it had better be first thing! Because there is an innocent little girl, who had absolutely no say in this matter, laying alone in a hospital waiting for somebody to love her. You said that you wanted to give this a shot. It's time that you lived up to your word."

"Sydney, I—"

"No," Sydney cut him off. "No more tonight. Go and get some sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."

* * *

The smell of bacon and eggs woke Vaughn up in the morning. His head throbbing, he slowly made his way out of bed and out to the kitchen. 

"Syd?" he blinked, seeing who was standing behind the stove.

"Morning," she said, and then pointed to a couple of aspirin and glass of water sitting on the bench. "How's the head?"

Vaughn didn't move. "You stayed the night?"

"Yeah, your couch is actually pretty comfy." She paused. "Don't look so dumbfounded. I had an inkling that you wouldn't want to be alone this morning."

Vaughn fought the urge to wrap her in a hug. "Thanks."

"Oh, I called Weiss. He's bringing over the cot and stuff. We should have it set up before you get back from the hospital." She stopped, flipping an egg. "And speaking of which, you want us gone when you get back?"

"Um…yeah," Vaughn replied. "I don't mind to be ungrateful—"

"It's ok," Sydney broke in. "I completely understand."

'_You always do_,' Vaughn thought.

"Now," Sydney was saying. "Sit yourself down. One nice, big and greasy breakfast coming up."

* * *

As Vaughn followed Dr Emery down the hospital's hallway, he could feel trepidation intensifying with each step. He was absolutely terrified- he wasn't going to deny that fact. What he wasn't sure about was what exactly was scaring him so much. Was it the idea of actually having to take a newborn home- alone, or was it that he had no idea what he would feel when he looked at her for the first time. 

In front of him, Dr Emery pushed open a door and then gestured for Vaughn to enter the room. "She is in here, Agent Vaughn."

Taking a second to draw in a deep breath, Vaughn stepped through the doorway. As he approached the hospital cot, he became acutely aware of the sound of his own breaths.

But then all sound ceased to exist as Vaughn took the final step, looked down and laid eyes on his daughter for the first time.


	7. Small Wonders

Thank you all so much for your feedback

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**Chapter Seven:  
Small Wonders**

_As Vaughn followed Dr Emery down the hospital's hallway, he could feel trepidation intensifying with each step. He was absolutely terrified- he wasn't going to deny that fact. What he wasn't sure about was what exactly was scaring him so much. Was it the idea of actually having to take a newborn home- alone, or was it that he had no idea what he would feel when he looked at her for the first time._

_In front of him, Dr Emery pushed open a door and then gestured for Vaughn to enter the room. "She is in here, Agent Vaughn."_

_Taking a second to draw in a deep breath, Vaughn stepped through the doorway. As he approached the hospital cot, he became acutely aware of the sound of his own breaths._

_But then all sound ceased to exist as Vaughn took the final step, looked down and laid eyes on his daughter for the first time.

* * *

_

"Weiss," Sydney looked up from the instruction manual she was holding. "It says here to insert piece B into slot G."

"So?" Weiss replied.

"So, by the diagram here, you're inserting piece D into slot A."

Weiss exhaled exasperatedly. "Sydney, all the pieces are exactly the same. Does it really matter which one I pick as G or D?"

Sydney grinned, putting down the manual. "Probably not." She glanced at her watch. "How long do you think Vaughn will be?"

Weiss shrugged. "Who knows…but we're almost done with the cot. We can leave the rest for another time."

Sydney fell silent at that point, her expression turning serious.

"Syd?"

She looked up. "It's just really strange…I mean, Vaughn's a dad. By himself. To…I just never thought…"

"Hmm…and if we're having this much trouble wrapping our heads around this, imagine what he's going through."

"What…who do you think she'll look like?"

"Well, for his sake, I hope to god that it's Vaughn."

Sydney allowed herself a small smile. "A little green eyes version of her father- I can see that."

"There," Weiss announced, tightening one last screw. "All done."

"Good," Sydney said. "Because we should get out here. They should be home soon."

* * *

Vaughn walked through his front door, capsule in hand. Inside everything looked the same, but the apartment _felt_ different. Placing the capsule on his kitchen bench, Vaughn took a few steps and opened the door to the nursery. A fully constructed cot sat in the middle of the otherwise empty room. Turning he saw several boxes stacked in the corner. The top one with a note attached. 

_We did the best we could :)  
__There is formula made up in the fridge,  
__nappies in the bag in the cot.  
__If you need any help with the other stuff,  
__or anything else, you know what to do.  
__S & W_

Folding the note and placing it in his pocket, Vaughn walked back out of the room and found himself staring at his daughter, fast asleep in the capsule. He was yet to see her awake and to him, that was something of a blessing. The idea of looking into her eyes and seeing Lauren's staring back was one that literally made him feel ill. The notion that this child could possibly posses traits of her mother was sickening.

His heart skipped a beat as she stirred slightly, he relaxed as it became apparent that she was not waking.

And as Vaughn stood there, watching the tiny and peaceful creature, he could not help but wonder, 'What now?'

* * *

Sydney was in her bedroom, having just taken a shower when she heard the phone ring. It stopped after a short while and so she guessed that Nadia had answered it. She was right. 

"Sydney!" Nadia's voice called out. 'It's for you."

"I'll get it in here," she called back, throwing on a robe and then reaching for her extension. Before she could speak, Nadia appeared in her doorway.

"Vaughn," she mouthed.

"Thanks," Sydney whispered, lifting the phone to her ear. "Hey," she said. "How's it going?"

"Ok," Vaughn replied. "I just wanted to say thanks for the cot."

"Well, Weiss did most of it. I just dictated."

"You know, I have no trouble picturing that."

Sydney laughed softly. "Is that an insult?" There was no reply on the other end of the line. "Vaughn?"

"Yeah…sorry. I'm having a little trouble staying focused."

"Understandable."

"Look, Syd, I was wondering if you could drop by sometime later. Everything just seems so strange. I need to see somebody who makes me feel like me."

"Sure," Sydney replied. "I have to go into Operations for a few hours, but how about I come by tonight. I could bring dinner."

"That would be great. Thanks."

Sydney smiled to herself. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Sydney could hear crying when she approached Vaughn's door that evening. Knocking, she waited but there was no reply and so she tried the knob. Finding the door unlocked, she pushed it open and walked inside. 

"Vaughn?"

He gave no reply. Placing the pizza she'd picked up for dinner on the bench, Sydney made her way towards the baby's room. There she found Vaughn standing over the cot, his expression a combination of fear and helplessness.

"Vaughn," she said. "What's wrong?"

He looked at, almost surprised to see her there. "I don't know…she just started crying."

"Well…maybe she needs changing," Sydney suggested. "Check."

"Check?"

"Pick her up and see if she needs changing."

Vaughn looked back down in the cot. "I can't," he said quietly.

"What?"

"I can't," he repeated, backing away from the cot and then walking out of the room.

"Vaughn," Sydney called after him. But it was obvious that he was not coming back and so Sydney did the only thing she could. Stepping over to the cot, she reached in and picked up the miserable baby.

"Hey," she whispered, cradling her in her arms. "It's ok. I got you…now, what seems to be the problem?"

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Sydney walked back out into the living room. Vaughn was sitting on the couch, with his head buried in his hands. 

"It was a dirty nappy," Sydney said, placing herself on an armchair several feet away.

"I'm sorry," Vaughn muttered. "I just freaked. I don't…"

"Hey, so what?" Sydney said. "I'm assuming that most new parents get a little daunted. You did nothing wrong. It was just a reaction, that's all."

Vaughn didn't say anything. He couldn't tell Sydney what was really going on in his mind. There was a hell of a lot more to this than just first-time parent fears. Deep down, there was a part of Vaughn rejected that little girl, not wanting to get close or attached. And he knew that it was because of who her mother was.

Just how exactly was he supposed to put that into words?

"You know, Vaughn," Sydney said, snapping him out of his reverie. "She really is beautiful."

"Hmm…" Vaughn ran a hand through his hair.

Sydney sensed that he was not all that comfortable with the conversation. "How about we have some dinner. I got pizza- is that alright?"

"It's fine."

Taking in his expression, Sydney stood and headed over to the bench. She was beginning to wonder if Vaughn was really going to be able to pull this off.

* * *

"Dr Emery!" 

She looked up from the notes she was making on a chart, to se a nurse heading in her direction. "Yes, Amanda?"

"Your coma patient..."

Dr Emery frowned, capping her pen. "Lauren Reed?" Amanda nodded. "What about her?"

"There's been... you need to come now."

* * *

Later that night, as she and Vaughn sat in his living room, Sydney found herself stating to yawn. Glancing down at her watch, her eyes widened slightly. 

"Wow…I didn't realize it was that late."

Vaughn was suddenly seized by an anxious fear. "Are you going?" he asked, knowing all too well that he would fall apart if left alone that night.

Sydney scrutinized him for a second. There was something slightly off with his tone of voice. "Well, unless I'm being presumptuous, I thought that I might stay again tonight."

Vaughn blinked. "Really." It was hard to keep the relief out of his voice.

"Yeah. Nobody should be expected to do this alone. Even with all your extra dramas aside."

Vaughn tried hard to smile. "Thank you."

"Ah," Sydney waved a hand. "You don't have to thank me. I have an ulterior motive."

"You do?"

"Uh huh," Sydney smiled. "I want another night on that couch- it really is comfortable."

Vaughn could only shake his head. "I don't know where I would be right now without you."

"Probably cowering in a corner having succumbed to a nervous breakdown," Sydney quipped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go brush my teeth."

As she walked off, Vaughn made his way to his bedroom, his thoughts a jumbled mess.

'_Probably cowering in a corner…_'

He shuddered at Sydney's words. She didn't know just how right she was.


	8. Affinity and Promise

Thank you all so much for your feedback. I hope that you all had a fantastic Christmas...and Happy New Year!

For those of you who asked questions about Lauren, sorry but my lips are sealed...and I'll apologise for the end of this chapter now :)

**agent belle: **Yes, I have a name for the baby (I actually decided on it before writing this fic).

**Natalie: **The baby's name will be revealed in the next few chapters.

**

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**Chapter Eight:  
Affinity and Promise**

_Sydney scrutinized him for a second. There was something slightly off with his tone of voice. "Well, unless I'm being presumptuous, I thought that I might stay again tonight."_

_Vaughn blinked. "Really. "It was hard to keep the relief out of his voice._

"_Yeah. Nobody should be expected to do this alone. Even with all your extra dramas aside."_

_Vaughn tried hard to smile. "Thank you."_

"_Ah," Sydney waved a hand. "You don't have to thank me. I have an ulterior motive."_

"_You do?"_

"_Uh huh," Sydney smiled. "I want another night on that couch- it really is comfortable."_

_Vaughn could only shake his head. "I don't know where I would be right now without you."_

"_Probably cowering in a corner having succumbed to a nervous breakdown," Sydney quipped. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go brush my teeth."_

_As she walked off, Vaughn made his way to his bedroom, his thoughts a jumbled mess._

'Probably cowering in a corner_…'_

_He shuddered at Sydney's words. She didn't know just how right she was.

* * *

_

The shrill sound of crying wrenched Sydney from her sleep. Slightly disorientated, it took her several seconds to realize exactly where she was.

About to get up, Sydney stopped when she heard footsteps heading out of Vaughn's room and into the nursery. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to feel a little relief. Even though she had not voiced it to him, Vaughn's behaviour towards his daughter the night before had worried her. It appeared that just the idea of picking up the baby absolutely terrified him.

But now, with the knowledge that he was up and tending to her, Sydney was free to go back to sleep.

However, ten minutes later she was still wide-awake the baby's cries were only getting louder. Groaning, Sydney threw off her blanket and made her way into the nursery.

"Vaughn," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Is everything ok?"

He looked up. The way he was holding the baby, Sydney didn't think that she had ever seen him so awkward. "No," he said, shaking his head. "She doesn't need changing, she won't take a bottle…what else am I supposed to do to stop this- this noise?!"

Sydney yawned. "Maybe she just wants to be held- securely," she added not so subtly. It suddenly occurred to her that Vaughn had mentioned nothing of a name for the baby. But, she also realized that now was probably not the best time to raise that issue.

"What?" Vaughn said. "I am holding her."

"Yeah, like you would a sack of potatoes," Sydney replied, though not unkindly. "Here," she stepped across, taking the baby from his arms. "Like this…I think," she frowned as the baby's cries continued. "Ssh…ssh…" she tried soothingly.

Slowly, the tears started to ebb and Sydney looked up to speak to Vaughn, but found him gone from the room. Any relief she felt earlier dissipated- along with the baby's cries.

"Ah, there we go," Sydney whispered. "Things are kind of tough at the moment, aren't they?" She paused, looking at the baby, unable to deny the affinity that she felt towards her. "You know, you and I have one pretty unfortunate thing in common…our mother's. It's not the best way to start off, I know. And your dad is not exactly helping, but he's had a lot thrown at him these past months. Just give him some time and he'll be able to come to terms. And then he'll start to make it up to you, I promise."

Sydney stopped at that point. She had never intentionally made a promise that she could not keep- ever. And yet, the one she had just make, well, she was not at all confident about its outcome.

It was something that she definitely had no control over.

* * *

Sydney's concern over Vaughn's attitude towards his daughter continued to worsen as the day went on. While he would, though reluctantly, feed and change her, when it came to actually just holding her, he backed off completely. Sydney soon came to realize that the look that crossed his face at the prospect held so much more than anxiety or fear. 

It also occurred to Sydney that maybe her presence was a hindrance as well as a help. Being there meant that Vaughn had an excuse to back off. Maybe, if she were gone, then he would have to step up. And so she made the decision not to stay there that night. She just had to wait for the right time to tell Vaughn.

"Vaughn," Sydney said, approaching him early afternoon.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going into Operations- I need to finish up a couple of reports. Do you want me to bring back something for dinner?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

"Ok then…oh, and Vaughn?" She paused as he looked at her questioningly. "I was thinking that I should head back home tonight."

"What?"

"Yeah. You and your daughter need a chance to bond without me getting in the way," Sydney said, grabbing her keys and heading towards the door, not giving Vaughn a chance to contradict her. "I'll see you later. Bye."

* * *

Sydney had barely settled at her desk when both Weiss and Nadia appeared at her side. 

"Syd," he said. "How's he doing?"

Sydney sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I thought ok, but now…I'm worried."

Weiss leaned against the desk. "How bad is it?"

Sydney shrugged. "I honestly don't know. He's detaching. I'm just hoping that leaving him alone might help."

"Detaching?" Nadia asked. "So has Vaughn had nothing to do with the baby?"

"Kind of," Sydney replied. "He'll feed and change her, but just spending time with her or holding her or anything that would result in bonding is just not happening."

"Lauren," Weiss murmured. "You don't think that it's the thought of Lauren making him act like this?"

"The thought has crossed my mind," Sydney admitted. "And if it's the case, then he shouldn't be the one raising this child."

* * *

Sydney's heart sank as she pushed open Vaughn's front door. As the loud crying reached her ears, she could not help but wonder just how long they had been going on for. They sounded louder, more intense somehow. 

"Vaughn?" Sydney stopped dead in her tracks. He was standing, his hands on the kitchen bench, and his eyes shut. "What are you doing?"

"I am just trying to build myself up…" he muttered. "So I can walk into that room."

Sydney took a step towards him. "Why would you need to build yourself up?" she asked gently.

"I…can't," his reply was barely audible. "I just can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't look at her without seeing…" he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. "I just wanted my life to be void of her, but now…"

A slow anger was starting to boil inside Sydney. "But now?"

Vaughn looked up at her. "She is a part of Lauren. A part that will be in my life forever. I thought that maybe I could—"

"Stop," Sydney let out, her voice forcibly restrained. "I don't need to hear anymore." With that she turned and walked into the nursery. Before she had even picked up the crying baby, she had already made up her mind.

The cries stoped almost as soon as she was in Sydney's arms- she obviously just wanted to be held and there was not a chance that she would get that from Vaughn. Grabbing a handful of nappies, Sydney shoved them into her bag and then gently strapped Vaughn's daughter into her capsule.

Bag over her shoulder and capsule in hand, Sydney marched towards the fridge to claim the bottles of formula that had already been made up.

When Vaughn saw her, his jaw dropped. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I am taking her home with me tonight," Sydney replied, determinedly.

"But you can't…why?" he spluttered.

"You honestly think that I would leave her alone with you, after what you just said?"

"Sydney, you have no right—"

"I may not, but this little girl certainly does," Sydney shot back. "And she deserves so much more than what she is getting. Do not punish her- she had absolutely no say in who her mother was. Not one."

"Sydney—"

"No, please listen to me. Before she was even born she had lost the chance of having a mother who would love her unconditionally, who would be there no matter what."

It was only then that Vaughn realized the similarities that existed between Sydney and his daughter. Similarities that made Sydney's words all the more personal, confronting and harder to hear.

"No mother," Sydney continued, "and now, by you acting the way you are, you are taking away her chance at a father also. How much is this little girl supposed to lose? She deserves to be loved, no matter who her mother is. And if you can't give her that, then it's time for you to let someone who _can_ give her what she needs."

Without waiting for a reply, Sydney turned and headed towards the door. However, before opening it, she stopped and looked back at Vaughn.

"I suggest that you spend tonight seriously considering your options," she said quietly. "No one will judge you, no matter what you choose. But it's time that you made a decision- for this little girl's sake."

* * *

Before climbing into her car, Sydney pulled out her mobile, and pressed one of the speed dials. 

"Hello?"

"Nadia, it's me. Could you do me a favour?"

"That all depends on the favour," he sister replied jokingly.

"Do you know the McLachlan's?"

"Yeah," Nadia said slowly. "They're the family a couple of houses down on the left, right?"

"That's them. Could you go and ask them if they still have Charlie's old cot, and if so, could I borrow it for tonight."

"Ok…why?"

"Because we've got a house guest for tonight."

* * *

Sydney had barely been gone a minute when Vaughn's phone rang. Still stunned by Sydney's confrontation, he reached across for it, and answered, somewhat absentmindedly. "Hello." 

"Agent Vaughn?"

He froze, knowing the voice on the other end too well for his own liking. "Yes," he replied dully.

"This is Dr Emery. I'm calling about Ms. Reed…"

* * *

**A/N: **Just a note to let you know that there is only two more chapters in this fic... 


	9. Release, Reaction and Regret

Thank you for your feedback...oh, and Happy New Year! (And I hope that you all had a fantastic Christmas).

**angdalton: **The name is coming...

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**Chapter Nine:  
Release, Reaction and Regret**

"_No, please listen to me. Before she was even born she had lost the chance of having a mother who would love her unconditionally, who would be there no matter what."_

_It was only then that Vaughn realized the similarities that existed between Sydney and his daughter. Similarities that made Sydney's words all the more personal, confronting and harder to hear._

"_No mother," Sydney continued, "and now, by you acting the way you are, you are taking away her chance at a father also. How much is this little girl supposed to lose? She deserves to be loved, no matter who her mother is. And f you can't give her that, then it's time for you to let someone who can give her what she needs."_

_Without waiting for a reply, Sydney turned and headed towards the door. However, before opening it, she stopped and looked back at Vaughn._

"_I suggest that you spend tonight seriously considering your options," she said quietly. "No one will judge you, no matter what you choose. But it's time that you made a decision- for this little girl's sake."_

_**xxxxx**_

_Sydney had barely been gone a minute when Vaughn's phone rang. Still stunned by Sydney's confrontation, he reached across for it, and answered, somewhat absentmindedly. "Hello."_

"_Agent Vaughn?"_

_He froze, knowing the voice on the other end too well for his own liking. "Yes," he replied dully._

"_This is Dr Emery. I'm calling about Ms. Reed…"_

"Look," Vaughn snapped before the doctor could say anymore. "I want nothing more to do with that woman. The baby is here, so therefore, I have no concern with her. I don't give a damn if I am 'technically' her next of kin. Wipe my name off whatever paperwork you have and find somebody else to plague with all of this."

"Agent Vaughn," Dr Emery's tone was commanding, forcing Vaughn to pay attention. "Ms Reed died an hour ago."

The release that Vaughn felt at that moment was like nothing he had ever experienced. In an instant he felt lighter, somehow. It was almost indescribable.

"She died?" he repeated, scared that he would wake up and this would all be revealed to be a cruel dream.

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"It would seem that she contracted an infection after the Caesarean," Dr Emery explained. "Had she been conscious, we may have picked up on it earlier, but all we had to go by was a spike in her fever. We tried antibiotics, but the infection had spread fast. There was nothing more that we could do."

"Right," Vaughn mumbled. "Now, if you'll excuse—"

"Just one more thing," Dr Emery said. "I know this isn't the best way to raise the topic, but what arrangements will need to be made for the body?"

"The CIA will take care of that," Vaughn replied. "She's not permitted a public grave. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go."

Hanging up the phone, Vaughn let out a loud sigh. Lauren was dead. Truly dead and out of his life forever. He was free.

'_Not quite_,' his mind said. '_At least, not yet_.'

* * *

Nadia stared down at the peaceful baby, sleeping soundly in the cot that had been placed to the side of the living room. 

"Sydney." She turned to her sister who was in the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I have to say this- this whole situation is just weird." She looked back down at the baby. "We just spent the night caring for the baby of your former boyfriend, who was mothered by his psychopathic ex-wife, currently lying in a coma. I am trying to find even the smallest sense of normalcy, but it's just not happening."

Sydney's expression curled into a wry smile as she walked towards her sister. "I learnt long ago never to search for normalcy. Occasionally it will make an appearance, and so I make the most of it then. But never search, you'll only come up empty handed."

Nadia cocked her head. "You know, all this craziness just proves how much of an amazing friend you are."

"You think?" Sydney's nose crinkled slightly. "I keep going back to the way I stormed out of Vaughn's place, with his _child_ and I can't help but think that I overstepped the help boundary somehow. Just when does everything become too much?"

"Don't give me that," Nadia said. "You did what you thought was best, and obviously it was the right thing to do."

"I know," Sydney sighed. "But maybe, I could have gone about it in a more appropriate way."

"What's done is done," Nadia said. "Now, I have to go into Operations. Do you want me to stop by during lunch?"

Sydney shook her head. "I should be fine. Hopefully, Vaughn will have contacted me by then."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Sydney was startled by a sharp rapping on her door. She hesitated before answering, trying to prepare herself for whatever reaction Vaughn might bestow upon her for what she had done. However, as it turned out, her worrying was over nothing. 

"Dad?"

Jack stepped through the door frame. "Nadia told me why you called in sick. What are you doing caring for that baby, Sydney?"

"I'm—"

"I cannot believe that he has palmed—"

"Dad!" Sydney's tone was sharp. "Vaughn didn't palm anybody off. What exactly did Nadia tell you?"

"That the reason you weren't at work was because you were looking after Vaughn's daughter."

"Well, there is more to it than that," Sydney replied. "I sure that you can appreciate how difficult things are for Vaughn at the moment and so—"

"He gets somebody else to look after his little problem. I understand that the two of you have a history, Sydney, but surely this is a bit much."

Sydney crossed her arms. "I am not doing this for Vaughn. I am doing this for the baby's sake and that is all."

"The baby?"

"Yes, the baby whose father, at the moment, cannot bring himself to pick her up because she reminds him of her mother. I took her last night so she could be cared for entirely while her dad attempts to make a decision of what he wants to do."

"Vaughn said that- about the baby and Lauren?" Jack asked, his voice oddly quiet.

Sydney nodded. "And maybe I reacted rashly, but I couldn't leave her there. I just couldn't."

Jack let out a large sigh. "Well, perhaps my reaction was slightly rash too."

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps?"

"I just…I just didn't want to see you being used and being dragged into this mess. A person shouldn't have to be involved with something like this once, let alone twice."

"I'm not going to be used, dad," Sydney said. "I am a stronger person that that. and as for your second concern, I am fine."

"Yes, uh, well," Jack cleared his throat. "I should probably go. I didn't tell anybody that I was leaving Operations. They might be worried."

"Ok then. I'll see you soon," Sydney said, a slight frown on forming on her face as she watched Jack walk towards his car. Since when did he care if people were worried about his whereabouts? She knew that would be the last thing on his mind. Obviously, the conversation had got a little too personal for his liking.

'_Or_,' Sydney thought, closing the door behind her, '_he's got somewhere more important to be_.'

* * *

The loud incessant rapping did nothing to move Vaughn from his position on the couch. Instead, he just watched the second hand tick on his watch. '_They'll be gone soon_,' he told himself. '_They'll be gone soon_.' 

But, he had not counted on it being Jack Bristow behind the door. The second the knocking stopped, Vaughn allowed himself to relax slightly, only to find himself leaping up as the door was forcibly shoved open.

"What the…Jack?" Vaughn's jaw dropped.

"Apparently, you have some serious lessons on hospitality to be learnt," Jack said as he walked towards him. "Lesson one. When somebody knocks on your door, it is common courtesy to answer it."

Vaughn's eyes narrowed. "Well, maybe you need some refresher courses. Where under common courtesy does barging through one's door uninvited come in?"

"Touché," Jack deadpanned. "I just came from Sydney's."

"So?"

"So, it would seem that you are getting a pretty sweet deal- free babysitting and all that."

Vaughn visibly bristled. "That is not—"

"She told me what happened last night."

"She did?" Vaughn seemed to falter.

"Yes. It would seem that Sydney is under the impression that you want nothing to do with your daughter because of her connection to Lauren."

Vaughn paused for several calculating seconds. "Why are you here, Jack?"

Jack shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, as if exasperated. "Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Well, I can assume why…" Vaughn sounded confused. "But why? Since when do you give a damn about me?"

"Since my daughter got involved." Jack snapped. "Granted, our experiences differ, but there are common basics. A child, a lying wife who continues to live regardless of her crimes—"

"Lauren's dead," Vaughn muttered.

"What?"

"Apparently, she contracted an infection- she died last night."

"I imagine that would be a weight off your shoulders," Jack mused aloud and Vaughn looked up sharply. Jack truly understood.

"Just a bit."

"And does this alter your attitude towards the child?"

Vaughn shook his head. "I feel the same and it's just…just…it's…"

"It's what?" Jack asked. 'I don't have time to listen to your splutter and stutter, so just say it."

There was something about Jack's bluntness that encouraged Vaughn. "I love her. I have since I first saw her. She's my daughter. But I keep thinking about…how do you do it, Jack?"

"How do I do what?"

"How do you look at Sydney and not see her mother? And not see the lie that she was created from?"

"Simple," Jack replied without hesitation. "When I look at Sydney, I see her as _my _daughter."

Vaughn ran a hand through his hair. 'I am terrified by the thought that she'll be like Lauren. That she will inherit traits of her mother."

"Oh, it's impossible that she wouldn't."

"Excuse me?" Vaughn said. That wasn't exactly the response that he was looking for.

"Sydney shares traits with Irina. I won't deny that. But strength, determination, feistiness and adaptability can be channelled both ways. For good or for bad. You need to remember that."

Vaughn sighed loudly. "You make it sound so easy."

"It's anything but," Jack said bluntly. "However, I just keep in mind that even with all the lies, manipulations and betrayals, Irina gave me a daughter. A gift that words cannot describe. And because I have Sydney in my life, I don't want to change what happened. She makes it all worth it and part of me will always be grateful to Irina for bringing such a person into my life."

Vaughn could not respond. He could not believe that Jack was telling him this. He was willing to bet his life that not even Sydney had ever heard these words spoken.

"It took me a long time to come to terms with all of that," Jack continued. "I don't regret my marriage. What I regret is the years I lost with Sydney because I allowed a memory of Irina to consume me. And that is my advice to you, Vaughn. Don't make the same mistake I did. Because, I guarantee you, in the years ahead, that is what you will come to lament."

* * *

**A/N: **Only one more chapter... 


	10. The Paths We Choose To Lead

Thank you for your feedback.

**Muddy Poodle: **My Christmas was pretty quiet, but it was still a good day. New Years was a blast- barbeque out in the backyard with lots of friends, drink and fireworks. A great way to ring in the new year.

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**Chapter Ten:  
The Paths We Choose To Lead**

"_How do you look at Sydney and not see her mother? And not see the lie that she was created from?"_

"_Simple," Jack replied without hesitation. "When I look at Sydney, I see her as _my_ daughter."_

_Vaughn ran a hand through his hair. 'I am terrified by the thought that she'll be like Lauren. That she will inherit traits of her mother."_

"_Oh, it's impossible that she wouldn't."_

"_Excuse me?" Vaughn said. That wasn't exactly the response that he was looking for._

"_Sydney shares traits with Irina. I won't deny that. But strength, determination, feistiness and adaptability can be channelled both ways. For good or for bad. You need to remember that."_

_Vaughn sighed loudly. "You make it sound so easy."_

"_It's anything but," Jack said bluntly. "However, I just keep in mind that even with all the lies, manipulations and betrayals, Irina gave me a daughter. A gift that words cannot describe. And because I have Sydney in my life, I don't want to change what happened. She makes it all worth it and part of me will always be grateful to Irina for bringing such a person into my life."_

_Vaughn could not respond. He could not believe that Jack was telling him this. He was willing to bet his life that not even Sydney had ever heard these words spoken._

"_It took me a long time to come to terms with all of that," Jack continued. "I don't regret my marriage. What I regret is the years I lost with Sydney because I allowed a memory of Irina to consume me. And that is my advice to you, Vaughn. Don't make the same mistake I did. Because, I guarantee you, in the years ahead, that is what you will come to lament."

* * *

_

Vaughn stood mutely in the doorway of his daughter's room, his eyes gazing at the lone cot and stack of boxes that were within.

_"I suggest that you spend tonight seriously considering your options… No one will judge you, no matter what you choose. But it's time that you made a decision- for this little girl's sake."_

Sydney's voice was one memory that rang clear through the jumbled mess that was swimming around his head. Squeezing his eyes shut, Vaughn attempted to make sense of it all, to see if he was pointing himself in a certain direction.

_"…even with all the lies, manipulations and betrayals, Irina gave me a daughter."_

_"It's pretty obvious that you are prepared to be become a father. What's not so obvious is whether you actually want to be a father."_

_"Don't make the same mistake I did. Because, I guarantee you, in the years ahead, that is what you will come to lament."_

_"She deserves to be loved, no matter who her mother is. And if you can't give her that, then it's time for you to let someone who can give her what she needs."_

Slowly Vaughn opened his eyes. He knew what it was that he should do. It had become blindingly obvious that he had always known, but had been too scared to admit it.

Drawing in a deep breath, he stepped into the room, picked up a box and began to move them out one by one. This had to be done before he spoke to Sydney.

* * *

As dusk settled upon the sky, Sydney was more than concerned. The entire day had passed with not so much as a peep from Vaughn. 

"Syd?"

The sound of Nadia's voice made Sydney turn away from the window. She was standing at the kitchen bench, Weiss by her side.

"Anything?"

Sydney shook her head. "Nothing. I keep thinking that maybe I should call him, but that would just be adding to all the pressure." She glanced over at the cot still standing in the living room. "Do I keep her here for another night? My head is screaming no, but the only other option is to take her back to Vaughn, and I have no idea if that is right thing to do."

"Maybe I should go and speak to him," Weiss suggested.

"I don't think that would help," Sydney said. "I thought that too, but what the hell are we supposed to say to him?"

Nadia took a step towards her sister. "Do you want some company? Because I'll stay home tonight if you want. Both of us will."

It was only then that Sydney realized that both of them were wearing jackets, as if about to go out. She blinked. She had been so focused on Vaughn that she had failed to notice that the flirtations between Nadia and Weiss had obviously taken a step forward.

"I'm fine. You two go out, have some fun." Sydney paused. "Where are you going anyway?"

"Eric is taking me bowling. Apparently there is all you can eat hot dogs after ten," Nadia shrugged. "Now, how was I supposed to pass up on that?"

Sydney smiled. "My sister, a woman of simple pleasures."

Weiss frowned. "You know, that could be construed as insulting towards me."

Sydney just shook her head. "Go," she laughed. But as her eyes fell upon the cot her smile seemed to falter slightly. And the change did not go unnoticed by Nadia and Weiss.

"Syd." He stepped forward, giving her a quick hug. "Don't stress. I'm sure that deep down Vaughn knows exactly what he should do. But whatever that decision is, he is going to have to come to terms with it before accepting anything."

Sydney gave a short nod. "I know…but that doesn't make the waiting any easier."

* * *

Vaughn stopped himself before ringing Sydney's doorbell. What he was about to do was going to alter his life forever and he needed several moments to collect himself. 

Was he really up for this? Could he really be about to do this? Jack's talk of regret was swimming through his mind, almost taunting him.

'Stop it,' he told himself. 'You know that you have made the right decision.'

And with that, Vaughn inhaled deeply and pressed the doorbell.

* * *

Sydney gently laid the content baby down in the cot. With a belly full of milk she was more than happy to sleep peacefully. As Sydney straightened up, she doorbell rang loudly, piercing through the air. She stiffened, but the sound did not disturb the baby. Letting out a sigh of relief, she made her way to the front door, without even contemplating who might be behind it. 

Throwing the door open, she froze, her heart skipping a beat.

"Vaughn."

"Hey." His voice sounded the way he appeared- exhausted.

"I…uh, how are you?" Sydney stammered, wondering what else she could say. '_Hello Vaughn. Have you made a decision on whether you want to raise your daughter yet?_' She didn't think so.

"I'm ok," Vaughn cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. "I wanted to say thank you- for what you did. I needed to hear it and I appreciate that you could say it."

"Glad I could help," Sydney replied quietly, wondering where exactly Vaughn was going with all of this.

"And I know that you have already done more than your fair share, but I need to ask you another favour."

"Ok."

"I was wondering if she could stay here again tonight."

Sydney heart sunk. So he was still at where he had been the night before. "Vaughn—"

"And if I could crash on your couch."

Sydney looked down, seeing the small bag that he was holding. "Vaughn, I'm not sure that I understand."

"I, uh, painted the nursery this afternoon. I can't bring her home, with the fumes and all," Vaughn explained. "And I can't really expect for you to have to look after her again. That's my job."

"Vaughn…" Sydney sighed. "You're sure about this?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Then you had better come in," Sydney gestured towards the living room. "Coffee?"

"You read my mind," Vaughn said, walking towards the couch. However, he did not sit down, instead stopping by the cot.

Sydney paused by the kitchen bench. "Vaughn."

"Hmm?"

"If you don't mind me asking, what…"

He looked up at her. "Your dad got me to see things in a clearer light."

Sydney blinked. "My dad?"

"Yeah. While she was my daughter and I loved her, I couldn't see past the fact that was Lauren was her mother- you saw what I was like. Your dad got me to open my eyes and realize that it was possible to see things is a different way. He reached into the cot, gently placing a hand on his sleeping daughter. Sydney couldn't help but feel surprised. It was the first time that she had seen Vaughn initiate contact, and not just respond to cries. "I am her father and I am not going to deny us the chance of being a part of each other's lives."

"My dad helped you realize that?" Sydney asked, flabbergasted.

Vaughn looked at her, taking in her expression. "I know," he said. "I am still trying to come to terms with that fact, as well."

* * *

The following morning Sydney woke when she felt extra weight settle itself on her bed. Opening her eyes, she saw that Nadia was sitting down on the edge. 

"Sydney."

"Yeah?" she replied, sitting up.

"Why is Vaughn snoring on our couch?"

"Snoring, hey?" Sydney smiled. "He just needed to crash here for the night before taking his daughter home."

Nadia's eyebrows rose slightly. "Really?"

Sydney nodded. "Really." She paused, eyeing off her sister. "So, did you have fun last night?"

Nadia chewed her bottom lip, as if trying to stop herself from smiling. "Yes," she said. "I had fun."

Sydney let out a laugh. "And are you going to elaborate on that?"

Nadia just shrugged, a mysterious smile on her face as she stood up and walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

"You all set?" Sydney asked Vaughn a short while later. 

He nodded. "I think so." He went to pick up his bag, but then stopped and pulled Sydney into a tight hug. "I can't thank you enough," he said, stepping back. "For everything."

"You don't have to thank me," Sydney replied.

"Yes, I do," Vaughn said firmly. "Come by when you've finished at work. I'll actually _cook_ us some dinner. It can serve as a very small step in making this up for you."

Sydney smiled. "Ok then. I'll see you tonight."

* * *

"Sydney!" 

She looked up to see Weiss hurrying across the JTF towards her desk. "I just spoke to Nadia. So he's…"

Sydney nodded. "At home with her now," she replied.

"Do you think that he's doing the right thing?"

"After talking to him last night, I know that he is."

Weiss let out a low whistle. "Vaughn a daddy, hey/"

"Yeah, and you an uncle Weiss."

"You know, that has a pretty good ring to it."

Sydney did not reply. Over Weiss's shoulder she had caught sight of her father walking past. He stopped as their eyes connected. There was no need for words between the two of them. A small smile from Sydney clearly read 'thank you' and the short nod, in response from Jack, was all he had to do to say 'you're welcome'.

Turning her attention back to Weiss, Sydney gave him a bright smile. "So," she started. "I didn't have much luck with Nadia, so it's your turn."

"My turn for what?" Weiss asked, his face blank.

"Last night. Details. Now."

* * *

Vaughn leaned back in his chair. "Weiss and Nadia, hey?" 

Sydney nodded as she swallowed her mouthful of wine. "Uh huh. He wooed her with bowling and all you can eat hotdogs after ten."

Vaughn chuckled softly. "You know, I can't see the success rate of that technique being extremely high."

"Yeah, but," Sydney shrugged. "It obviously worked for them."

Vaughn went to reply but was cut off by a loud cry. "I think I'm being summoned," he said. "Excuse me."

* * *

It was sometime later that Sydney poked her head into the nursery, taking a second to admire the freshly pink walls before speaking. 

"Hey," she whispered to Vaughn, who was standing by the cot. "I did the dishes for you."

"Thanks, but you didn't have to."

"I had to do something to keep me entertained while you were in here," Sydney replied as she approached him. "Is she asleep?"

Vaughn nodded. "Finally…I haven't quite mastered _not_ holding her like a sack of potatoes yet," he added sheepishly.

Sydney cringed sightly. "I said that to you, didn't I?"

"You might have," Vaughn said and then fell silent for a few seconds. "I keep thinking, wondering…what am I going to tell her when she starts asking me about her mother?"

Sydney eyed him. "Was that a way of asking me what I think?"

"That obvious?"

"Just a bit." Sydney smiled, and then sobered. "I think that all she needs to hear if the barest minimum of truth. You tell her about the woman you thought Lauren was when you married her. And when she's old enough, you tell her that you separated before she was born, before she died." She paused. "She doesn't need to know anything else. Sometimes…the truth is just to hard to hear."

"But what if one day she discovers the truth?"

"Do you think that would ever really eventuate? I only found out the truth because of the spy business." Sydney looked Vaughn directly in the eyes. "Trust me. I speak from experience here. This is definitely a case where 'Ignorance is bliss' rings true."

Vaughn sighed, as he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I've got plenty of time to mull this over. How much time before she's forming questions, do you think?"

Sydney let out a soft laugh. "No idea…but I do know what it's time for now."

"What?"

"It's time that you gave this little girl a name," Sydney said. "She's nearly a week old. You can't keep referring to your daughter as 'she' or 'her'. Keep it up for much longer and she'll come to thing they're her real names."

Vaughn's eyes fell back to the sleeping baby in the cot, his brow furrowed. Several moments passed before he spoke.

"Summer," he murmured.

Sydney cocked her head to one side. "Summer?"

Vaughn nodded. "It's the time of year when thing's appear brighter, people are happier. Everything is more relaxed, more laid back…easier, almost. That's how I want it to be for her growing up." He paused. "I want the winter's of her life to be non-existent."

"Summer Vaughn," Sydney whispered. "That's really pretty. Perfect actually."

Vaughn looked at her. "Do you think that I can really do this? Being a parent."

"Vaughn, of course you can. After all," Sydney placed a hand on his shoulder, "you handled me for two years. Rearing a child will be a cinch compared to that."

Vaughn's face broke into a grin. "You know what. You make a pretty good point there."

* * *

**TWO YEARS LATER**

Sydney's feet pounded on the pavement, the sound of her breathing filing her ears. She was oblivious to the park surrounding her, her focus entirely on the path before her, the pace of her steps and the feel of the wind on her face. Nothing to interrupt her, until…

"Sydie!"

Slowing to a jog, Sydney came to a stop just as a little, dark blonde haired girl threw her arms around one of her legs.

"Hey Summer," Sydney laughed, and looked up, spotting Vaughn seated on a bench several feet away. With a wave, Sydney clasped one of Summer's hands and then headed in his direction. "Hey," she smiled, sitting down beside him. She barely had a second to settle before Summer climbed up onto her lap. "How are you?"

"If it weren't for this one, I would still be in bed," Vaughn groaned. "I am still in recovery from last night. It was kind of a big one."

"Yeah," Sydney grinned. "But we can't really complain. How often do my sister and your best friend get to throw an engagement party?"

Vaughn nodded. "I'm just starting to wonder what will go down at the wedding."

Summer, who was obviously unimpressed with not being the centre of attention, wriggled out of Sydney's lap, moved across to Vaughn's and looked up at him with eyes that mirrored his.

"Tastles," she demanded.

Sydney looked at Vaughn questioningly. "Tastles?"

"Sand castles," Vaughn translated, placing Summer on the ground and pointing at the sand pit that was a metre or so in front of the bench. "There you go. Let's see how big you can get it." With a gleeful smile, Summer made her way across, planking herself on the edge of the pit and Vaughn turned back to Sydney. "Sand seems to be the flavour of the month at the moment," he said. "24/7, all week, she has been asking me to bring her here."

Sydney let out a soft chuckle. "Maybe it's time you got Summer a sand pit of her own."

"One step ahead of you there. I've already enlisted Weiss's help for sometime this week."

Sydney raised an eyebrow. "So you've managed to pull him away from the post-engagement euphoria, hey? Nice going."

Vaughn nodded, his eyes on Summer. "I try my best…" he trailed off, straightening up in his seat. "Summer, no!"

Sydney looked over to see the little girl staring at Vaughn through wide eyes, a fistful of sand hovering by her mouth.

"Don't you eat that," Vaughn said and when she made no move to drop the sand, he stood up. "Summer."

With an almost dejected look, she let the sand fall trough her fingers. However, her dismay did not last long. Seconds later she was happily piling sand into what she obviously saw to be a castle.

Shaking his head, Vaughn sat back down and turned to Sydney. "I always thought the terrible twos were a myth, but I'm beginning to see otherwise. I don't know why, but lately she's eating almost anything she can get her hands on."

"Anything? Really?" Sydney said, trying hard not to laugh. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Summer raising another fistful of sand to her mouth.

"Anything," Vaughn replied. "I have found grass in her mouth more times than I can count. Last week she got into the dirt and mud in the backyard- that was a fun day. I buy new toothpaste, and the next day it's half empty and I swear that I found teeth marks in the soap yesterday—"

Sydney snorted. "Well, that's probably the one and only time she'll try that."

"And," Vaughn continued. "Every time she's at my mother's, she has a go at her potpourri."

Sydney bit her bottom lip. "Obviously, she had inherited your culinary tastes."

"Excuse me," Vaughn was indignant. "And what about Rousseau's? And Trattoria di Nardi—"

"You know, we never did end up eating there," Sydney pointed out. "You raved about it, but I am still yet to experience it for myself."

Vaughn hesitated, his eyes bearing down on hers. "Well then, how about a consolation?"

"A what?"

"Have dinner with me."

"Vaughn, no offence, but pizza in front of a hockey game while Summer runs rings around us, is not exactly a consolation for a bona fide Italian restaurant," Sydney joked.

"I am not talking about that," Vaughn said quietly. "I am talking about actually going out to a restaurant. Just the two of us."

Sydney suddenly realized what he was getting at. "Just the two of us?" she asked and he nodded. "You mean like a…"

"Not 'like'. Definitely," Vaughn said. "What do you think?"

Sydney's face broke into a wide grin. "I think that it's about time."

* * *

A week later, Sydney found herself stretching and slowly opening her eyes, the early morning sun warming her face. Though, that was not the only thing. As memories of the night before came flooding back to her, Sydney felt a faint blush spread on her cheeks. 

"Good," Vaughn's voice said from beside her. "You're awake."

Sydney rolled over, meeting his eyes, a slow smile forming on both their faces. It had been over five years since that fateful night when she had disappeared, and last night both she and Vaughn had done their best to start making up for lost time.

"Good?"

"Yeah, cos I was just about to wake you."

"Why?"

"Because I am guessing that we've got about thirty seconds."

"Until what?" Sydney asked, confused.

Vaughn out a finger to his lips. "Just listen." Sure enough the sound of little feet pounding down the hall reached her ears. "My alarm clock since the day Summer learned how to walk," he said, wryly.

"Daddy!" Seconds later Summer burst into the room, and with some struggle, managed to climb up on the bed. "Hello."

"Hey sweetie."

Summer looked to be settling on Vaughn's chest when she suddenly froze. "Sydie?"

"Good morning, Summer." Sydney couldn't help but smile. Summer's furrowed brow just made her resemble Vaughn all the more.

"Why you here?" she demanded.

Vaughn glanced at Sydney. "Now, that's what you call tact." He turned back to Summer. "Sydney's here to see me."

Summer pursed her lips. "And me?"

"And you," Sydney confirmed.

The little girl's eyes brightened. "You stay and play?"

"Yeah Syd," Vaughn chimed in, running a hand over his daughter's hair. "Are you going to be hanging around?"

Sydney's eyes went to Summer and then fell back on Vaughn. "You know what," she said. "I think I will."

**THE END**

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* * *

**

As usual I want to take the time to thank everybody who supported and encouraged me throughout this fic. The small notes I put at the start of my chapters are in no way enough to truly show my gratefulness, which I why I tend to conclude my stories with these big sappy endings :) Thank you everyone!

On a more personal note, I want to let you all know that while I have a couple more stories on the go, including a sequel to this one, from the 5th January to the 1st February, I will be on a very much anticipated trip around Europe. The reason I am telling you this, is I am not sure how frequently I will be able to post chapters, or even if I will be able to at all. So if you don't hear from me over the next month, it's definitely not because I have stopped writing, I am just a little busier than usual.

So again, thank you all so much and you should be hearing from me soon.

Melissa


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